“HE’S NOT ON MY LEVEL” and so I left the relationship…

There is no question that black women are steadily climbing up the ladder of success at a faster rate than black men. According to The Journal of Blacks of Higher Education “Black women currently earn about two thirds of all African-American bachelor’s degree awards, 70 percent of all master’s degrees, and more than 60 percent of all doctorates. Black women also hold a majority of all African-American enrollments in law, medical, and dental schools.”

[Bravo Ladies]

Your achievements are commendable and became a hot topic at last month’s “Lets Chop It Up” discussion. Apparently, there is a downside to your professional conquests. Read below:

educated black couple

One female guest of the evening, we’ll call her Melissa shared her story of how turning into a educated, professional woman was the downfall of her long term relationship with boyfriend Mike. Melissa and Mike lived together. Neither one of them were satisfied with their careers and decided together, that it was time to get ahead in life. They agreed on a plan. Melissa would obtain her degree first while Mike took on the bulk of household responsibilities. Upon her completion, they would switch roles allowing Mike to obtain a higher level degree as well. The set up seemed to be working out well. Mike was supportive , encouraged her through her journey and Melissa was indeed able to complete her degree. She went on to land a credible not to mention, well paying position with a national bank.

fed up couple

 Mike was proud of his girlfriend’s accomplishment and happy that with her increase in pay, their financial future looked brighter. Now it was time for Mike to go back to school but he was no longer up for it. With her additional income, he was quite content living life just as it was. Yes, they were comfortable but Melissa wanted more. They fought about it constantly. Mike wanted to focus on enjoying their relationship through a series of get-a ways and vacations while Melissa wanted to them to further boost their professional status as a “power couple”. Budding heads and ensuing silent wars, Melissa finally got fed up and left the relationship. Her reasoning: “I outgrew him. He’s not on my level.”


Was Melissa’s choice to end the relationship a form of abandonment or a smart life decision?


3 thoughts on ““HE’S NOT ON MY LEVEL” and so I left the relationship…

  1. Very interesting article .. I can see this situation being a very difficult one but I agree with Melissa sometimes when your partner doesn’t have ambition and goals when you do it feels like baggage and the best thing to do is separate yourself maybe it will encourage mike with the separation of not I say runn! Lol

  2. well i must give Melissa 2 thumbs up,, she made the right decision,,,Melissa is a girl with discipline and she showed that once she is committed to something she completes it ,,Mike on the other hand is a more laid back kind of guy ,,they were 2 people heading in different directions , he was just going to be there enjoying her hard earn money, when he could have popped up off his butt n go secure a better, brighter future by finishing what he started..it wouldnt have worked out if she had stayed so she did the right thing

  3. So long as Melissa is happy at the end of the day she did the right thing. Depending on your vantage point it is hard to say definitively if Melissa did the right thing or not. As a Coach reading this article, my first instinct was to better understand what is behind Mike now feeling the way he does. I guess you could say that depending on his answer to this question you could better determine his motives. Was he truly trying to be a moocher or were there some underlying issues that he needed to deal with that created fear or trepidation that he was unwilling to talk about? Ultimately, they are both adults and he has to open his mouth and speak up.Since he didn’t, I’d say that Melissa made the best decision she could with the information she was given. I wonder what type of perspective a man would have on this one.

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