Black Men are NOT done Dating Black Women

Let this serve as an official notice to the world that BLACK MEN ARE NOT DONE WITH BLACK WOMEN. I don’t know how this horrible rumor began but it has spread like stage four cancer in our community and I for one am ready to put a stop to this madness.

There have been countless articles written and YouTube videos created listing the many reasons that black women are being shunned by the dating world, more specifically black men.

Our “nasty attitudes” coupled with our “bitterness” and the many factors of the imaginary “angry black women syndrome” tops the list as to why men are supposedly jumping ship and swimming into the arms of non-black women.

Word on the dating scene is that black women have been black-listed [gasp @ the audacity].


Ladies and gentlemen – Come on, are we really going there?

The notion is a bit of a stretch, however…

I  will admit that there has been a bit of disconnect, a loss of communication if you will between black men and women in the dating/relationship world.


Generation after generation, black women have been forced (by a number of historical and domestic factors I won’t list here because that would be an entire blog post in itself) to lead households on their own, raise children on their own and educate and advance themselves without the help of a partner. Fortunately, they’ve excelled and continue to do so (click here for stats) but that progression has clearly created a gap in professional advancement as well as a resentment towards one another.

mad couple

I often hear sisters saying: “Girlllll, I don’t need a man” “He can’t do anything for me.”

And brothers saying: “She doesn’t have respect for me as a man” and so “I’m doing me.”

Like childhood friends who have grown up and grown apart, we now look at each other with a foreign eye, each wondering if we ever knew one another in an intimate way.

I say enough is enough. It’s time to put a stop to this negative publicity and bring the focus back to LOVE.   Fortunately, with a willingness to do the work and a huge word called COMMUNICATION- we can get back on track.

love never failslove


I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts?

Has professional advancement created a wedge in your relationship? If so, how?

Are you a black man or woman who is done with dating people within your race? Why?…

Is this lashing out against the black woman is a cry for attention from the black man?

If you’re ready to get back to love? How will you start a chain reaction?

Be as specific as possible in your comment, as incredible souls ready to hear voices of reason come here to connect and share their stories.

Remember, ‘A Little Audacity’ goes a long way so speak your truth – it’s the only way to create the change in your life you want to see.


Lisa V. King


6 thoughts on “Black Men are NOT done Dating Black Women

  1. At one time I was done dating African-American women because of the bitterness being held towards black men due to bad relationships; however, I just learned to deal with it and let my personality infect that individual. Also, I kind of hurt myself on the way I come off of certain Black Women. Most of them are hurt because of bad relationships and bad decisions. However, you should not take your anger out on the next person you date. It’s a matter of the following variables: sensitivity, understanding, emotional literacy, and relationship maturity from both sides. You cannot polarize one side or the other.

    • ^ I couldn’t agree with you more. Its more about past relationships, social-economical status and preference that determines the duration of a relationship. Generalization is for close minded people. I date anyone no matter what race.

  2. I want to thank you guys for having the courage to actually post your responses. I’ve gotten a quite a few direct messages from men (mostly) voicing their opinions about why they wont date black women anymore. Reasons ranging from our “bad attitudes” to our “daddy” issues. What is surprising to me is not the fact that they feel this way. The have that right but the fact that men feel this way,and are hesitant to say that directly to black women. I call that shame. Thoughts?

    • There are some men that do not want to say it in front of a black women, knowing the consequences that “might” follow after the confrontation. I quoted might because the interaction might follow of what they expected in “some” black woman or follow a totally different manner. There are others, like myself, who tell them straight up about how they feel. They might not like it but usually they eventually come to a consensus whether they want to work it out or not. Like I said before, its all about social-economical status and past relationships that molds everyone differently.

      Somehow, at least based on the topic of this original post, black women have been hit especially hard as far as relationships are concerned. Black men seem to have done better with relationships in spite of some of the negativity that surrounds it. You can’t dwell on being hurt by how the world operates. All you can do is adjust to the reality of the situation and try to enjoy life LVKing. Great post!

  3. I think it is frustrating for black women to accept criticism from black men or accept being placed at a level below women of other races by a black man because most black women hold black men at the top of the chart. They expect reciprocity. They want to be loved and honored by their black males. The bitterness comes when they see this adoration and love being given to women of other races. In order for black women and men to build strong relationships, they must begin with honesty and clear communication. People will love who they love. The choice shouldn’t be based on color. However, Black Women and Black Men understand one another’s struggle and with that they should hold the utmost love for one another. I must say, I am proud to be in a black relationship of 17 years and marriage of 9 years. Let’s change this situation from being a needle in the haystack to the norm.

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