3 ‘Old School’ Communication Strategies that Actually Work in Relationships

“Without communication, there is no relationship; without respect, there is not love; without trust, there is no reason to continue” Unknown Author.

Whether you choose to get together, stay together or walk away, communication is key.

Here are 3 old school ways of communicating that should brought back to style:

1. HAND WRITTEN LETTERS

Ahhhh, the hand written word. How lovely it is to take a stroll down memory lane. Remember the good ole’ days when you actually sat down to write your feelings out on paper? As the writer, you would take a moment to stop and think about what you wanted to communicate to someone. You savored the moment making sure that you captured the right tone, using just the right phrases to express your true feelings… Think about how open and vulnerable you felt giving your letter to your loved one knowing that he or she would get a sneak peak into your true self.

And readers, how special did you feel to receive a hand written letter? Knowing that someone choose to take time to share with you their thoughts and gave you a record to keep and revisit at any time.love letter

The act takes effort but the benefit is that its serves as a self-administered therapy session for both partners and sets the tone for a face to face conversation.

2 .PICK UP THE PHONE to talk- not text.

(Gasp) What a concept! Sending text messages is quick, reliable, and convenient but there is nothing like hearing someone voice to make you feel important.

phone

I get it- we’re all busy but even a quick call in between meetings to let your partner know that you’re thinking of them will do wonders for your relationship. Ever wonder why women (and men too) will listen a voice message from their partner over and over again. No, they’re not crazy! Hearing someone voice creates a feeling of connection that doesn’t translate through text. The value of a message is found in a personal touch and what’s more valuable and personal than YOU?

pillow talk

3. PILLOW TALK

In this day and age , everyone is on the go, running to work, working late, raising children and striving to make a better life for themselves and their loved ones. Who wouldn’t be a bit.. intense. A daily routine that is constantly at a 10 would make anyone, male or female stressed out . But there is one thing that couples can do to relieve that stress…You’re probably thinking have sex, huh? Yes! but more importantly, enjoy the afterglow by engaging in some good old fashioned pillow talk. Both partners feel relaxed and it is a good time to share feelings and emotions which will ultimately lead to deeper connection.

 

Now, I’d love to hear from you.

Which communication strategy do you miss the most?

Do you have a communication strategy that has done wonders for your relationship? If so, share.

Incredible souls ready to hear voices of reason come here to connect and share their stories.

As always, ‘A Little Audacity’ goes a long way so speak your truth – it’s the only way to create the change in your life you want to see.

XOXO,

Lisa K.

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Black Men are NOT done Dating Black Women

Let this serve as an official notice to the world that BLACK MEN ARE NOT DONE WITH BLACK WOMEN. I don’t know how this horrible rumor began but it has spread like stage four cancer in our community and I for one am ready to put a stop to this madness.

There have been countless articles written and YouTube videos created listing the many reasons that black women are being shunned by the dating world, more specifically black men.

Our “nasty attitudes” coupled with our “bitterness” and the many factors of the imaginary “angry black women syndrome” tops the list as to why men are supposedly jumping ship and swimming into the arms of non-black women.

Word on the dating scene is that black women have been black-listed [gasp @ the audacity].

angry

Ladies and gentlemen – Come on, are we really going there?

The notion is a bit of a stretch, however…

I  will admit that there has been a bit of disconnect, a loss of communication if you will between black men and women in the dating/relationship world.

LETS FACE IT:

Generation after generation, black women have been forced (by a number of historical and domestic factors I won’t list here because that would be an entire blog post in itself) to lead households on their own, raise children on their own and educate and advance themselves without the help of a partner. Fortunately, they’ve excelled and continue to do so (click here for stats) but that progression has clearly created a gap in professional advancement as well as a resentment towards one another.

mad couple

I often hear sisters saying: “Girlllll, I don’t need a man” “He can’t do anything for me.”

And brothers saying: “She doesn’t have respect for me as a man” and so “I’m doing me.”

Like childhood friends who have grown up and grown apart, we now look at each other with a foreign eye, each wondering if we ever knew one another in an intimate way.

I say enough is enough. It’s time to put a stop to this negative publicity and bring the focus back to LOVE.   Fortunately, with a willingness to do the work and a huge word called COMMUNICATION- we can get back on track.

love never failslove

 ARE YOU READY TO GET BACK TO LOVE? IF SO, CHIME IN.

I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts?

Has professional advancement created a wedge in your relationship? If so, how?

Are you a black man or woman who is done with dating people within your race? Why?…

Is this lashing out against the black woman is a cry for attention from the black man?

If you’re ready to get back to love? How will you start a chain reaction?

Be as specific as possible in your comment, as incredible souls ready to hear voices of reason come here to connect and share their stories.

Remember, ‘A Little Audacity’ goes a long way so speak your truth – it’s the only way to create the change in your life you want to see.

XOXO,

Lisa V. King

“HE’S NOT ON MY LEVEL” and so I left the relationship…

There is no question that black women are steadily climbing up the ladder of success at a faster rate than black men. According to The Journal of Blacks of Higher Education “Black women currently earn about two thirds of all African-American bachelor’s degree awards, 70 percent of all master’s degrees, and more than 60 percent of all doctorates. Black women also hold a majority of all African-American enrollments in law, medical, and dental schools.”

[Bravo Ladies]

Your achievements are commendable and became a hot topic at last month’s “Lets Chop It Up” discussion. Apparently, there is a downside to your professional conquests. Read below:

educated black couple

One female guest of the evening, we’ll call her Melissa shared her story of how turning into a educated, professional woman was the downfall of her long term relationship with boyfriend Mike. Melissa and Mike lived together. Neither one of them were satisfied with their careers and decided together, that it was time to get ahead in life. They agreed on a plan. Melissa would obtain her degree first while Mike took on the bulk of household responsibilities. Upon her completion, they would switch roles allowing Mike to obtain a higher level degree as well. The set up seemed to be working out well. Mike was supportive , encouraged her through her journey and Melissa was indeed able to complete her degree. She went on to land a credible not to mention, well paying position with a national bank.

fed up couple

 Mike was proud of his girlfriend’s accomplishment and happy that with her increase in pay, their financial future looked brighter. Now it was time for Mike to go back to school but he was no longer up for it. With her additional income, he was quite content living life just as it was. Yes, they were comfortable but Melissa wanted more. They fought about it constantly. Mike wanted to focus on enjoying their relationship through a series of get-a ways and vacations while Melissa wanted to them to further boost their professional status as a “power couple”. Budding heads and ensuing silent wars, Melissa finally got fed up and left the relationship. Her reasoning: “I outgrew him. He’s not on my level.”

Thoughts?

Was Melissa’s choice to end the relationship a form of abandonment or a smart life decision?