Black Men are NOT done Dating Black Women

Let this serve as an official notice to the world that BLACK MEN ARE NOT DONE WITH BLACK WOMEN. I don’t know how this horrible rumor began but it has spread like stage four cancer in our community and I for one am ready to put a stop to this madness.

There have been countless articles written and YouTube videos created listing the many reasons that black women are being shunned by the dating world, more specifically black men.

Our “nasty attitudes” coupled with our “bitterness” and the many factors of the imaginary “angry black women syndrome” tops the list as to why men are supposedly jumping ship and swimming into the arms of non-black women.

Word on the dating scene is that black women have been black-listed [gasp @ the audacity].


Ladies and gentlemen – Come on, are we really going there?

The notion is a bit of a stretch, however…

I  will admit that there has been a bit of disconnect, a loss of communication if you will between black men and women in the dating/relationship world.


Generation after generation, black women have been forced (by a number of historical and domestic factors I won’t list here because that would be an entire blog post in itself) to lead households on their own, raise children on their own and educate and advance themselves without the help of a partner. Fortunately, they’ve excelled and continue to do so (click here for stats) but that progression has clearly created a gap in professional advancement as well as a resentment towards one another.

mad couple

I often hear sisters saying: “Girlllll, I don’t need a man” “He can’t do anything for me.”

And brothers saying: “She doesn’t have respect for me as a man” and so “I’m doing me.”

Like childhood friends who have grown up and grown apart, we now look at each other with a foreign eye, each wondering if we ever knew one another in an intimate way.

I say enough is enough. It’s time to put a stop to this negative publicity and bring the focus back to LOVE.   Fortunately, with a willingness to do the work and a huge word called COMMUNICATION- we can get back on track.

love never failslove


I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts?

Has professional advancement created a wedge in your relationship? If so, how?

Are you a black man or woman who is done with dating people within your race? Why?…

Is this lashing out against the black woman is a cry for attention from the black man?

If you’re ready to get back to love? How will you start a chain reaction?

Be as specific as possible in your comment, as incredible souls ready to hear voices of reason come here to connect and share their stories.

Remember, ‘A Little Audacity’ goes a long way so speak your truth – it’s the only way to create the change in your life you want to see.


Lisa V. King


“HE’S NOT ON MY LEVEL” and so I left the relationship…

There is no question that black women are steadily climbing up the ladder of success at a faster rate than black men. According to The Journal of Blacks of Higher Education “Black women currently earn about two thirds of all African-American bachelor’s degree awards, 70 percent of all master’s degrees, and more than 60 percent of all doctorates. Black women also hold a majority of all African-American enrollments in law, medical, and dental schools.”

[Bravo Ladies]

Your achievements are commendable and became a hot topic at last month’s “Lets Chop It Up” discussion. Apparently, there is a downside to your professional conquests. Read below:

educated black couple

One female guest of the evening, we’ll call her Melissa shared her story of how turning into a educated, professional woman was the downfall of her long term relationship with boyfriend Mike. Melissa and Mike lived together. Neither one of them were satisfied with their careers and decided together, that it was time to get ahead in life. They agreed on a plan. Melissa would obtain her degree first while Mike took on the bulk of household responsibilities. Upon her completion, they would switch roles allowing Mike to obtain a higher level degree as well. The set up seemed to be working out well. Mike was supportive , encouraged her through her journey and Melissa was indeed able to complete her degree. She went on to land a credible not to mention, well paying position with a national bank.

fed up couple

 Mike was proud of his girlfriend’s accomplishment and happy that with her increase in pay, their financial future looked brighter. Now it was time for Mike to go back to school but he was no longer up for it. With her additional income, he was quite content living life just as it was. Yes, they were comfortable but Melissa wanted more. They fought about it constantly. Mike wanted to focus on enjoying their relationship through a series of get-a ways and vacations while Melissa wanted to them to further boost their professional status as a “power couple”. Budding heads and ensuing silent wars, Melissa finally got fed up and left the relationship. Her reasoning: “I outgrew him. He’s not on my level.”


Was Melissa’s choice to end the relationship a form of abandonment or a smart life decision?

Tribute to the Lovely Jill Scott: Womanifesto

As you start this wonderful morning, start it with the power- filled inspirational words of Ms. Jill Scott.

Be blessed, shine bright and remember you are not just an ass.


Clearly I am not a fat ass
I am active brain
And lip smacking peach deep
Sometimes too aggressive in it’s honesty
And heart sweet
That loves wholly and completely
Whom it may choose
Whom ever it may choose

I am not gonna lie and pacify
I am arms to hold
I am lips to speak
I am a motherfucking “G”

Strong legs that stroll off the 33 bus
Or out of a money green Phantom comfortably
Knees that bend to pray
Clean from Ajax washings
Hair that is thick and soft
Thighs that betwixt
An amazing all expense grand prize

I am eyes that sing
Smile that brightens
Touch that rings
And supplies euphoric release
I am a Grand Dame Queen Beast

I am warm
I am peace
From the roads of Botswana from 23rd Street
From the inside third eye
Ever watching this wicked wicked system of things
I do see

I am friend to pen
And a lover of strong women
A diamond to men
I am curious and interested like children
I welcome the wise to teach
Appreciator of my culture
Thick not just from bone dense and eat

I have a rhythm in my ways
And a practice in my seek
And yes, I do crave the rhythm of my space
With a man that rejoices in God’s Grace

With faith I do hear to listen
Two hands that fist
When forced pushes to shove
And your ego won’t submit

I am gifted
I am all of this
And indeed the shit

Clearly I am not just an ass